Review: "Cloverfield"

First it was all just a big mystery.
Then it was Blair Witch.
Then it was Blair Witch meets Godzilla.
But the final result is more like Blair Witch meets Youtube meets Godzilla meets the most innocuous of GAP advertisements.

Cloverfield is, no argument here, a feat of marketing. The pre-Transformers trailer, the subtle clues sprinkled about the internet, the fact that it didn't have a title for a good long while. Not only did it raise a question everybody wanted to see the answer to (no shock, this coming from Lost writers and producers) but it did it in a way that felt timely and relatable. But that a marketing campaign does not a movie make (unless we're talking box office receipts.)

The conceit of shooting everything "first-person" was great in theory, but since we're running around New York City the whole time, your eyes only get brief chances to focus on what's happening. (That picture to right is not a still--you never see the camera.) Sure, it's purposely amateurish, and that worked fine when you were following three people around in the woods. But dodging rubble and monsters is a lot less fun when you can only tell what's happening for a few frames per scene. (We also get way too few shots of the monster.)

That stylistic choice, however, is a pretty minor squabble. What really wastes the concept's potential--and let's be honest, it's a great concept on paper--is the complete lack of any character depth or story worth caring about. Remember that scene in Dawn of the Dead where the girl risks everyone's life and all their supplies in order to save that dog? And you're pissed off at how stupid she is? Imagine if that was the whole plot of the movie. We follow--strike that--join a gaggle of interchagable, well-bred twentysomething Manhattanites who talk like their posting on each other's Facebook walls. I've heard arguments that the terrible dialogue and characterizations are meant to be commentary on the empty, self-obsessed qualities of the Millennial generation, but it doesn't come off as satirical in any regard. It just plays like bad writing. And the whole time, they head off on a stupidly-planned suicide mission to rescue a girl that one of the guys slept with one time. Awwwhhhhh.

There's also a few logic probelms, but I'm already sick of ranting. The film showed glimpses of what it could have been--everyone trying to flee on the Brooklyn Bridge was one of the more harrowing scenes--but it was simply missing too many crucial elements. I was sitting in the very front row, though, so I'm giving it a half a grade bump out of sympathy.

Can Cloverfield live up to its hype? - BBC News
Producer Brian Burk discusses marketing campaign to MTV.com