It Changed My Brain! #1: Jeff Buckley's "Lover, You Should've Come Over"

And so I return to the land of blogging. Sorry for the weeklong absence. The parents were in town, the social calendar was especially busy, and, to be honest, there wasn’t a whole lot going on in the world of entertainment that inspired any kind of witty analysis or impassioned tubthumping.

Well, today, I went to a screening of what was—and this is no exaggeration—the worst full-length feature film I’ve ever seen. It made Semi-Pro look like The Lives of Others. Although harmless trash, it brought forth in me a deep-seated frustration: how does stuff like this get made? How did it get so many normally discerning actors in it? Or, at the very least, how the hell did it ever get past those oh-so-valued test audiences?

The ire triggered something else, though. It forced me to think about the modern works of art and storytelling—the books, songs, films, and TV shows—that opened up my eyes to a new perspective, that, as Hector in The History Boys put it: “The best moments in…are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - that you'd thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you've never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it's as if a hand has come out, and taken yours.” Those pieces of art that grab our hands, so to speak, are why the rest of us continue to search out great stories and, when lucky, fashion some of our own.

I’ve been laying it pretty heavy on the screenwriting side of things lately, but these blog posts are good for me; my self-understanding deepens when I’m forced to articulate what I believe and what I prefer. So, this will be a new weekly feature on Right Next to Mars. It’s called “It Changed My Brain!” because, well, these films, shows, books, and songs opened up my mind to a side of the world that had never been exposed…and I became better for it.

First Up: “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over” by Jeff Buckley

I could never ignore the haunting fractured pride in Buckley’s voice or the way the hymn-like melody allows the music to crescendo softly at the chorus, but it’s the from-the-soul observations and realizations in Buckley’s lyrics that occasionally run through my mind like the CNN News Ticker. The words come not from a tortured soul, but from a sadly aware one: “maybe I’m too young to keep good love from going wrong” could be a generational tagline in the early 90s (and every other era, too). It’s also refreshing—if a tad depressing—to hear a “youth” admit that he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing when so many in popular music are eager to prove they and their genertaion can do anything their elders can do and with more panache.

It’s also rare in another instance: the song is a young man’s confession of failure to be the capital-M Man he thought he already was. And it’s with that, especially, that I feel like Buckley has grabbed my hand. I doubt I’m all that alone—the song seems to be a staple on playlists labeled “Melancholy” and “Reflective.” But, as a 23-year-old American male, I completely connect with Buckley’s sentiment that “sometimes a man gets carried away when he thinks that he should be having his fun.” The frustration in balancing the glimmering last strands of youth and newfound responsibilities can cause—and has caused me—moments of withdrawal that shirk those that rely most heavily on us.

And with “lover, you should’ve come over, because it’s not too late,” Buckley shows how once we screw up, in the midst of figuring out what it means to be a Man, our guilt—and our love—turns our victims into saviors. As long as our love is returned, we can continue the journey.

OK, now. I’m going to post one of these a week, but I want you guys to send me your own write-ups, too, and I will post those as well. I want to know what’s grabbed you guys, what’s given you a deeper understanding of the world or of yourselves. Shoot me an email.